Archive for the ‘Juan Tamad Stories’ Category

Juan Tamad Escapes a Beating

Friday, January 30th, 2009

One day, Juan’s father was very angry.

“Aie!” cried the father of Juan Tamad in great anger. “Juan has again forgotten to water the carabao and the beast is hot and dry. When that good-for-nothing son of yours comes home, he will surely feel my lash on his lazy hide.”

The kind mother who is always  there to shiled his son said, “It was my fault. This morning, I craved the taste of duhat and your son fetched me a handful of the fruit which, unwitting, I shared with him. There may be truth in what my mother used to say that any man or woman or child who partakes of food craved by a conceiving woman will suffer from fits of forgetfulness…”

“Last night, your son was forgetful,” the father grumbled. “And other times before, he was forgetful, too. Surely, you did not share duhat fruit with him yesterday nor the day before?”

“Yesterday, it was guavas,” the mother smiled, “and the day before yesterday it was tamarind. Why, mother used to say also that if a conceiving woman takes a notion either to like or dislike a person, that one will become absent-minded. Also, that, whichever person or object attracts her fancy or incurs her displeasure, will leave a mark on her baby that is yet to be born.”

“My mother also used to tell me,” said the father of Juan Tamad, “that a pregnant woman may not eat of twin bananas if she does not wish to give birth to twins.”

“Nor mend or hem a dress she has on, lest she suffers a difficult birth-giving…”

Nor this and that and the other, continued Juan Tamad’s father through tale after tale, thus forgetting his anger, and the mother smiled, knowing her son has escaped a beating  that night.

Juan Tamad and the Flea-Killer

Monday, December 1st, 2008

One weakness oftentimes leads to another. This is the same with the story of Juan Tamad’s laziness. As his body was lazy, so was his mind. Truth being often hard to tell, he took recourse to lies, which came easy to him.

Telling lies became his second nature. One day his mother sent him to town to buy a cooking pot. It so happened that the townspeople were afflicted by fleas. Nobody knew where they came from. They crawled up one’s legs and body and lodged themselves in the hair until one itched like mad. It was horrible.

Juan bought a nice pot and set off for home. On his way back, a flea got inside his clothes and bit him. He yelled and threw out his arms and scratched himself as he pranced around. In all this confusion the pot fell on the ground and broke into a dozen pieces.

Jaun squatted before the broken pot, imagining his mother’s wrath. He had to do some quick thinking.He collected all the pieces of the broken pot and, with the help of two stones, ground them very fine.

Then he wrapped up the powder in several pieces of a banana leaf, and went back to town. Up and down the road he went shouting, “Buy flea-killer! Buy flea-killer!”

This seemed heaven-sent for the townsfolk who crowded around him and bought all the packages.

Juan took back home no cooking pot, but instead a bag of coins.

His mother was pleased. But she still wanted her rice pot, so she sent him back to town the next day.

Great was the dismay of Juan Tamad when he arrived in town and was soon set upon by angry men and women shaking their fists in his face and cursing him.

“We shall tear you limb by limb,” they shouted, “for you sold us no flea-killer but common sand. You cheat! Now tell us a likely story so you should not die like a dog. But the story has to be convincing or you will not be spared.”

“Oh, my good neighbours,” pleaded Juan, “first tell me how you used the flea-killer.”

“Why, we dusted it on the fleas, of course. How else?” said the neighbours.

“Ah,” said Juan. “That is what I feared. Have you any of the powder left?”

No one had any powder left. “What a pity,” sighed Juan, “for I could have shown you how to kill the fleas. First, you catch a flea. Then open its eyes. It is really very simple,” said Juan.

“Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-!” roared a neighbour, and “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha,” laughed another.

“It is hard enough to see a flea and catch it, let alone open its eyes,” said one man.

Juan tried desperately to go on with his story, but such was the din and noise of angry protest from the people that he found himself cornered.

“Juan, why not tell the truth for a change!” shouted an old woman.

And for the first time in his young life, Juan saw no escape. He told them the truth.As some men lunged forward to pounce on him, the old woman stopped them and said, “Let the fool go this time. But listen boy, try your tricks again on us and God save you!”

“Come, we must tell his mother,” came a voice, and the crowd melted away, leaving Juan standing alone, still worried about his mother’s wrath.

[From http:// www.pitara.com/talespin/stories/online.asp?story =24 ]